“Confidence is courage at ease??? – Daniel Maher
There is no doubt that confidence may occasionally take a dip as a woman reaches mid-life and beyond. Changes are taking place on many levels, physically, mentally and emotionally, and it is a time for adjustment. Many women feel that their self-esteem is not as high as it was and for many this can be a time of uncertainty and insecurity.
Many of my clients mention that they no longer like looking in the mirror and seeing the march of time appearing on their faces. Or to watch and witness changes within their body.
One of the most common statements that I hear is a feeling of loss. As a woman leaves the child bearing years behind and finally says goodbye to having more children, this can cause feelings of loss and sadness.
However, the mid-life years and beyond are also a wonderful time to shake up your life a little and get back on track doing the things you used to love doing before children or responsibilities of home, family or work took priority.
This time in your life is all about more:
- Freedom
- Time to do what makes you happy
- Rediscovering your hobbies and interests
- Developing yourself
- Taking care of yourself
- Saying “yes” to yourself and “no” to others
- Discernment about how you spend your time and who you spend it with
This time in your life is less to do with:
- Caring what others think
- Believing that you do not matter
- Negative self-talk
- Wasting time doing what you dislike
- Self-criticism
- Comparing yourself with others
- People-pleasing
- Focusing on your perceived flaws
It is an exciting time of change, possibility, and adventure!
What about that trip you have always wanted to go on?
What about the books you want to read?
What about the language you have always wanted to learn?
What about the course you wanted to attend?
Yes, you may feel that your house is quiet after children fly the nest to pastures new. Some women report feeling “redundant??? with no family to take care of any longer at home. If you view this time as an amazing opportunity for you to start doing allthe things you have put off for so long and rebuilding a part of your life that fits who you are now. How does that feel for you?
Self-confidence is tied to both the physical and emotional elements of who you are. There are changes taking place on a physical and emotional level, such as hair changes, skin changes, hormone fluctuations, lack of libido in some cases, mood changes, forgetfulness, lack of energy, and insomnia for some. It is no wonder that your confidence levels are lower than usual if you are finding it difficult to relate to the person looking back at you in the mirror.
We have some amazing role models for midlife and beyond:
- Helen Mirren
- Susan Sarandon
- Diane Keaton
- Meryl Streep
- Halle Berry
And many more. Some say that 40 is the new 30!
There are so many ways to boost confidence levels. From the best in skin care regimens and products, to very discreet cosmetic surgery that is not obvious. Fabulous choices of exercise, or even machines that report doing it for you!
One of the best things to work with first and foremost is your mindset. Aging is an inevitable part of life, unavoidable and guaranteed. The way you handle it and deal with it is entirely your choice.
Instead of focusing on perceived flaws, why not focus on all of the parts that you do like and accentuate those.
Are you comparing yourself with models in the media or in films? Remember that there is a lot of airbrushing and retouching that goes on in photographs and movies. The picture you see may not necessarily be true.
It is sad that for some women it all becomes too much and they “give up??? on themselves and cease to care about their self-care or in taking care of their health needs. Ladies: you are worth it; you are beautiful in your own unique and special way.
When was the last time you had a manicure or pedicure?
When was the last time you bought lovely matching underwear?
Are your legs and armpits smooth today?
Are you removing facial hair or leaving it a few days late?
When did you last visit the dentist?
When was the last time you restyled your hair?
The answers to these questions may nudge you into making some changes that may lift your confidence levels and encourage you to take more care of yourself.
On a scale of 1 being very little and 10 being highly confident, which number are you?
Here are 10 tips to help move you towards better confidence today:
- Stand tall, be aware of your posture and slouching
- Stay on top of your personal grooming
- Schedule your grooming appointments months in advance
- List your achievements in life and acknowledge them
- Accept compliments with a sincere thank you
- Be aware of your own negative self-talk and self-criticism and stop
- Start to say “yes” to what you do want and “no” to what you don’t
- Know your weaknesses and resolve to become more competent in those areas
- Set small goals and achieve them, then begin to set bigger ones
- Choose not sit in your problem. Find solutions and support
If you have enjoyed this Blog and would like to learn more about how the Flourish Beyond 40 Programme or Supercharge Your Confidence Module can help you, just head over to the shop and peruse the many options available for you.
Have a wonderful day.
Isobel McArthur
Founder of Flourish Beyond 40
